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Don't Call Us, We'll Call You

Comedy

25

Nov 16, 1965

After some wheeling and dealing and mending a rift between Mr. Kimball and his mother, Oliver (Eddie Albert) finally has a phone installed, but the Hooterville Phone Company installs it directly outside his bedroom window...on top of the phone pole.

Full Episodes

Season 1, 28 episodes

Oliver Buys A Farm,

In this classic series' premiere episode, New York City attorney Oliver Wendell Douglas (Eddie Albert) satisfies his desire for the simple life by buying a farm, much to the chagrin of his wife, Lisa (Eva Gabor). John Charles Daly narrates the tale!

24m Sep 14, 1965

Lisa's First Day On The Farm,

Oliver (Eddie Albert) brings his wife, Lisa (Eva Gabor), to their new home, a ramshackle farm near Hooterville, just outside of Pixley, where she gets to meet the town's oddball residents. Bea Benaderet, Edgar Buchanan and Frank Cady guest star!

24m Sep 21, 1965

Oliver (Eddie Albert) is ready to get farming, but Lisa (Eva Gabor) puts her foot down and says she will leave unless they can hire a decorator to fix the house! Meanwhile, Kate Bradley (Bea Benaderet) teaches Lisa how to make hotcakes.

25m Sep 28, 1965

The Best Laid Plans,

Is the Honeymoon period over already? The rumor mill has it that Lisa (Eva Gabor) has packed up and left Oliver (Eddie Albert). Actually, she went back to New York to close up their penthouse apartment. And Mr. Haney is up to his old tricks!

25m Oct 5, 1965

Lisa Has A Calf,

The cow that Oliver (Eddie Albert) bought from Mr. Haney is pregnant. Afraid that Haney will claim the new calf, Oliver and Eb decide to keep it secret...only to have the people of Hooterville think that it is Lisa (Eva Gabor) who is expecting!

25m Dec 7, 1965

My Husband The Rooster Renter,

Oliver (Eddie Albert) calls in a roofer, a plumber, and agricultural expert Hank Kimball (Alvy Moore). All of them give the same appraisal of his farm: it's a disaster! Meanwhile, Mr. Haney (Pat Buttram) has a few chickens he'd like to rent out!

25m Oct 12, 1965

Furniture, Who's Got The Furniture?,

The Douglases are awaiting the arrival of their furniture and they don't know it, but Oliver's mother is on her way, too. But when the furniture is accidentally delivered to Mr. Haney's new place, he tries to sell their own possession back to them.

25m Oct 19, 1965

Neighborliness,

Planting season ends in three weeks and Oliver has yet to get his land plowed. Meanwhile, Uncle Joe (Edgar Buchanan) needs a new shotgun before duck hunting season starts and schemes to solve both of their problems...without Oliver knowing it.

22m Oct 26, 1965

Lisa, The Helpmate,

When Oliver (Eddie Albert) sends a sample of his soil to the State Scientific College, a report comes back that his farm contains ingredients never before found in soil. Could his soil problems just be cosmetic? Eleanor Audley guest stars.

24m Nov 2, 1965

You Can't Plug In A 2 With A 6,

Relying on statistics provided by the Department of Agriculture, Oliver (Eddie Albert) decides to plant wheat. But when he goes to Drucker's to buy seed, he learns the other farmers have a unique way to predict the best crop… Mrs. Ziffel's lumbago.

25m Nov 9, 1965

Don't Call Us, We'll Call You,

After some wheeling and dealing and mending a rift between Mr. Kimball and his mother, Oliver (Eddie Albert) finally has a phone installed, but the Hooterville Phone Company installs it directly outside his bedroom window...on top of the phone pole.

25m Nov 16, 1965

Parity Begins At Home,

Oliver (Eddie Albert) plants his entire 160 acres with wheat, only to hear from The Crabwell Corners Conservation and Stabilization Committee, a local farm organization, that he was only permitted to grow eight acres of wheat…because of Mr. Haney.

24m Nov 23, 1965

The Wedding Anniversary,

It's the Douglases' wedding anniversary and, after initially pretending not to remember, Oliver (Eddie Albert) makes clear that he knows the date very well…he just can't remember exactly how many years he and Lisa (Eva Gabor) have been married.

25m Dec 14, 1965

What Happened In Scranton,

Lisa (Eva Gabor) is shocked that Hooterville has no beauty parlor, and the Ladies' Every-Other-Wednesday Afternoon-Discussion-Club nominates her to make it happen. Of course, Oliver's mother is happy to help, even if it means underhanded tactics.

25m Dec 21, 1965

Give Me Land, Lots Of Land,

When Oliver's neighbor, Mr. Watson, decides to do some traveling, Oliver (Eddie Albert) buys the farm which adjoins his property, but not the house on it. Lisa (Eva Gabor) misunderstands and thinks the beautiful farmhouse is their new home.

25m Jan 4, 1966

I Didn't Raise My Husband To Be a Fireman,

Oliver (Eddie Albert) discovers the only requirement to join the Hooterville Valley Fire Department is that he must play a musical instrument. Meanwhile, Lisa (Eva Gabor) tries her hand at cooking something besides hotcakes for breakfast.

25m Jan 18, 1966

Lisa Bakes A Cake,

Believing he will never get a moment's peace, Oliver (Eddie Albert) is annoyed when Lisa (Eva Gabor) puts a listing in the new phone book: Oliver Douglas, Attorney at Law…but it is a different story when no one calls for his services.

25m Jan 25, 1966

The Price Of Apples,

Oliver (Eddie Albert)'s apple crop is ready to be harvested, and he decides to take them to market himself and make a killing. Of course, getting to market before the price drops proves a little more difficult than Oliver anticipates.

25m Feb 8, 1966

What's In A Name?,

Ralph (Mary Grace Canfield) becomes enamored of Mr. Kimball (Alvy Moore), the county agent. However, though she feminizes herself and gets all gussied up, he refuses to go out with a girl named Ralph. Can Oliver solve the situation legally?

25m Feb 15, 1966

The Day Of Decision,

Six months is up! Now, Lisa (Eva Gabor) gets to decide whether she and Oliver (Eddie Albert) will remain on the farm or go back to New York and their Park Avenue lifestyle! Will this be the final straw for Green Acres?

24m Feb 22, 1966

Sam Drucker (Frank Cady) is leaving on a much-needed two-week vacation and talks Oliver (Eddie Albert) into assuming his duties as a deputy sheriff. But Oliver soon learns enforcing the law isn't quite as easy as it looks.

25m Mar 15, 1966

The Ballad Of Molly Turgiss,

Whatever you do, don't say her name and especially while playing checkers down at Drucker's! An old hag named Molly Turgiss (Renie Riano), who died twenty years before the Douglases (Eddie Albert, Eva Gabor) came to town, might be haunting them.

24m Apr 5, 1966

Never Look A Gift Tractor In The Mouth,

It's a few days before Oliver (Eddie Albert)'s birthday, and Lisa (Eva Gabor) doesn't know quite what to get him…until the old Hoyt Clagwell goes kerflooey! So, she goes out and buys the biggest and fanciest tractor she can find.

25m Apr 26, 1966

Send A Boy To College,

Oliver (Eddie Albert) discovers that Eb (Tom Lester) has a way with sick animals after Eb cures Arnold, the pig, and Alice, the chicken, and offers to put him through veterinary college. But will life in Green Acres ever be the same without Ed?!

25m May 3, 1966

Horse? What Horse?,

A horse follows Oliver (Eddie Albert) home, but every time he tries to show it to his wife, the horse disappears. Lisa (Eva Gabor) assumes that her husband is imagining things…and as more animals show up, Oliver begins to think so too.

25m May 10, 1966

The Rains Came,

Mr. Haney (Pat Buttram) takes Oliver (Eddie Albert) to Pixley Superior Municipal Court and sues him for non-payment of a vital contract over the little matter of some rain…or lack thereof. Does Mr. Haney know who he's up against? Does Oliver?

25m May 17, 1966

The Third-Tuesday-of-Every-Month-Culture-Committee of the Every-Other-Wednesday-Afternoon-Discussion-Club decides that Hooterville needs some culture in the form of a symphony orchestra. And Lisa (Eva Gabor) may just know the perfect conductor.

25m May 24, 1966

Oliver's (Eddie Albert) nephew Charles (Don Edmonds) arrives for a visit, and Oliver is completely shaken up when the boy turns out to be a long-haired, motorcycle-ridin', hippy-dippy type. But, boy, does he know a thing or two about engines.

25m May 31, 1966